There will always be 4 kinds of people in our lives… the Four F’s:

– Fright Material
– Fun Material
– Friend Material
– Forever Material

There are those who you just know; either right off the back or when they already got your phone number; that they are definitely someone who you don’t want in your life.  They make you feel bad, they make you feel like you have to be with them to feel good, they smother you with information/time/etc… beyond your capacity, They’re only around when you’re have something to offer and they have something to take.  They make you think that all the negative things that are coming in to your life are your doing and build shame upon ourself rather than help you relieve the weight.  They instill the greatest of doubt in the slightest of forms.

These are the eye candy individuals that we see on TV, meet up with once in a while, go on dates with, party with once in a while, and have exhaustingly long “conversations” with… but they never meet our friends, they never become our friends, they never get to know us, and we might not even be calling them by their right names if we choose to remember that.  They are the ones we wish we can grow to know so well, but lack the capatibility to do so.  They are the ones we love to be with, but will grow to learn to live without.  They are the ones we once knew, may remember, but may never forever be together.

These are the individuals that have the qualities that you want to spend the rest of your life with, but not in the manner where you want to have their babies!  These are the individuals that you bring home to meet the parents, but you never have to worry about your parents catching you doing anything taboo (well maybe just that one time, but…) because the worse thing that could happen is you guys be watching a naughty video tape together… discussing how it would be trying it out on the FUN individuals.

Now these are the individuals that meet all the qualities of the FRIEND individuals along with the qualities of the FUN individuals (as a note for all you picky individuals… positive qualities over-rides negative qualities when there are opposing qualities between the two… but ultimately it is when you can interchangeably go from one to the other, experience all the mutual qualities of one and yet to know you both still have all the others).  They meet your friends, they meet your family, they are eye candy, they are soul food, they are heart warming, they are in your business (you may hate the moment, but you always end up loving the outcome), you both make mistakes together only growing stronger, you have lost the thought of  being given an obligation and have simply obliged to doing and being what used to be the imposed obligation… you become each other’s FRIEND and each other’s FUN… interchangeably… FOREVER.



Here is something I posted about two years ago on a social network… I ran across it and thought I’d re-post it… First posting was on: Tuesday, June 10, 2008

So I have done a big Ja-ist “NO-NO” . . . I have put into writing 4 general categories that you can categorized just about anyone you meet.

At 4am with a lack of sleep, this is what I am able to bring to you.  Use what you may of it, and enjoy what you can of life.

Best of Luck,
Jay Her

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